Loving Louis's new role as Rules Monitor on The X Factor. I've heard of Gummo btw, Louis.

Maybe he's never got over missing out on Prefect role at whatever Irish boys school he attended. Perhaps he had other things on his mind in those day. Louis in a boys school - the mind boggles.

At least we got to see decent performance from Jamie Afro. Although anyone who brings a song about crack cocaine (last week's Rocks) to prime time saturday night telly deserves to win.

Perhaps we could have a drug-themed week next time. We could have charisma-free Lloyd doing the Velvet Underground's Heroin or Stacey singing Sister Morphine. Simon, I hope you're reading.